Remembering Reflux

I get anxious now and then, thinking about being a mother of two. I think about how much Erik and I love Ben and wonder how our love could possibly be spread to another human being. I think about how some days are absolutely crazy and wonder what will happen when I'm trying to just keep my head on AND offer the best love and care to two children, not just one. And I wonder how my social life and friendships will further change when my schedule shifts to accommodate two babies instead of just one. Luckily, I have many wonderful women in my life; both friends and family, present to calm these anxieties and not just tell me, but show me that these concerns are truly nothing to worry about. Then, there are the times I think back about Benjamin's acid reflux. Honestly, I know that in the big scheme of things, this is such a small problem to have with a newborn. But AR really took me for a ride. When we were expecting Ben, I knew that I would have a tiny child, I knew that we would lose sleep, and I knew that he would cry. I was totally unprepared for how much crying he would do. It wasn't like colic. It wasn't like he needed a diaper change or was cold. We quickly figured out how to take care of those problems. It was like a screaming cry. All the time. Day and night. Except when he was sleeping, and he wasn't sleeping as much as any newborn should. I look back and say 'oh duh' because of course, hindsight is 20/20 and now that I know about infant AR, I see a lot more of what was happening before I even knew it. The good news is that if this next little one has infant AR, I will be very prepared and well informed on the subject. The reflux road began Benjamin's first evening in the hospital. He was born at 10:40am. Everyone who saw him that day old me he was the most alert baby they had ever seen so young. I thought it made sense, because he was two weeks late leaving the womb and therefore that much bigger and developed. I now think he was so alert because he was always trying to figure out why he felt like his esophagus was slowly eroding. I made the decision to exclusively breast feed Benjamin and he had a great latch. That night, from about 10:00pm-2:00 am, Ben wanted to eat. I am not kidding. He wanted to eat all night. Newborns sleep right? Not when they're hungry, said the Lactation Consultant. Now, you mommies out there know that the first 'milk' is colostrum and there's not just tons and tons of it, so I knew it wasn't like Ben was swallowing enormous amounts of fluid. So maybe he was hungry. But even with a great latch, nursing hurts a little the first time you do it. Especially after hours of it. I called the nursery and lactation consultants several times in that four-hour period, and they finally convinced me to let them take him to the nursery so I could rest. When Benjamin wasn't nursing, he was crying, so I knew that may be the only way I would get any sleep that night. I went into a deep sleep immediately and didn't wake up until they brought him back to nurse a few hours later. That time, the nursing didn't go on and on, but there definitely many more tears all over again. Almost all of the photos I have of Ben in the hospital are of him crying. We checked out of the hospital 24 hours after I gave birth and I kept thinking, it's going to be so peaceful when we are in our own home. In some ways I was right, but on the nursing and cry factor, I was dead wrong! More on that next time I post...