I'd like to be au natural please!

Since Benjamin just turned 6-months old, I thought it would be a good time to do something i wanted to do 6 months ago. Write about having Benjamin! Now don't cringe and prepare to be grossed out... I will keep it light.



I still remember how i felt right after I had him. Let me tell you... hormones after birth are everywhere!!! Let me give an example: When Ben was two days old, I cried "because he is twice as old as he was yesterday. He's already growing so fast." Yeah, I said that, choking through tears, but that's exactly how I thought and felt at that point. Erik always warns his friends now that the hormones you see after birth are wayyy crazier than what you see when your baby-mama is pregnant. :)



Anyway... with those after-birth hormones I was thinking I have to document this RIGHT NOW. I'll never be able to remember it if I don't. Wrong! I still remember it like it happened yesterday! And I think I always will...



In anticipation of Ben's arrival, Erik and I had a birth plan written out. I had 10 copies in my hospital bag that was packed and waiting by the door for four weeks before I finally had to use it. The plan was, essentially, to not have any medical intervention... no IV, no epidural, nada.



Benjamin was very stubborn and did not start making his appearance until 13 days after his "due" date, which should have been pretty accurate based on the charting Erik and I had done. On Thursday the 25th I woke at 3 a.m. with a contraction. I knew it was a contraction and woke Erik to tell him. We timed them out and they were about 20-30 minutes apart so we went back to sleep. At least HE went back to sleep. That day at noon we had an appointment with my CNM who checked me and told me I had progressed to 2cm. Our plan was to induce at 17 days "late" if I didn't have him by that point. Giving birth unmedicated was very important to me. We had done our research and practiced and decided that giving birth naturally was the best thing for us.



My Thursday was spent cleaning the house and baking my baby's BIRTHday cake. I was very thankful that my contractions never fully stopped. They slowed a little, but Thursday night I was pretty sure I would be having a baby before Monday. By 10:00pm, just in time for bed, the contractions had gotten to about 10 minutes apart and the pain had become intense enough that I was pretty sure there would be very little sleep in store for me. Sure enough, the contractions intensified and got closer together. I just kept telling myself I wanted to stay at home as long as possible and that any pain I was having would be worse later on so I should just deal with it for as long as possible in my own bed. We wanted to be in the hospital for as little time as necessary.

As the hours passed I began having stronger and stronger contractions that were getting closer together, but not quite close enough... 6-7 minutes apart lasted forever... around 1:00 a.m. I was in so much pain I was getting sick. I felt terrible and yet I was embarrassed and felt bad that Erik had to hold the trash can for me. As I got sick I also messed the bed so we relocated to the "guest" bed room. There Erik tried to get some sleep though I'm pretty sure that goal was never achieved. I kept timing the contractions and we were holding steady at 6-7 minutes apart. My pain continued to increase and when I got up to use the restroom at 3:00 a.m. I bled when I tried to pee. This freaked me out and we decided it was time to get our things together and get to the hospital.

When I checked in at approximately 4 a.m. I had no idea what to expect. I couldn't talk when I was having a contraction so Erik was giving my information. Honestly, even though I was experiencing a pain rated 8 out of 10, I still was telling myself to not be a baby. For all I knew I was still 4 cm and they would tell me to go back home for a while. Well, lucky me, I was a 7-8cm! Thank God. I finally felt like it was okay for me to believe the amount of pressure I was feeling was real.

So we went to the delivery room and we found out I was indeed having contractions about 5 minutes apart. The contractions were "piggy-back" or something like that where right when one was going away it would start again immediately, then after the second one I would get my break. This explained why when Erik would ask if I was having a contraction sometimes I would say "I don't know. I just had one but it still hurts" He was like "huh? how do you not know?"

After a few more hours of contractions they called my midwife and told her where I was. I really wanted her to show up. For some reason I thought when she showed up it would be time to have the baby. But, alas, she came to see me at 8:00 or 8:30 and, at only 9cm, I still had some work to do. I was waiting and waiting for something to change, for some new sign of progress, then POP! (literally a loud bursting noise) there went my water. I thought "OK, any minute now!" Silly me, I hadn't learned anything. Erik and I had studied the Bradley Method of birthing. I knew that the bag of waters had been cushioning the pressure. Consequently, just when I thought the pain wouldn't get worse, it did. But Benjamin wasn't in any hurry.

My mantra throughout the whole process was: "God made my body to do this." "Keep going. I just want to meet my Baby (Benjamin wasn't named until we met him)." "Our Father, Who art in Heaven... Owwwwwwwww... Hallowed be Thy Name...." Erik was a super-hero by my side. He tried everything to make me more comfortable. I just wanted to be in my own world with my own thoughts. I didn't want to be touched or comforted. I didn't want Erik to talk and yet I didn't want him to leave my side. Some family had arrived by now and I hated when he left to greet them, but I knew it was good for his mind and composure to get to talk to people who wanted to talk to him at this special time.

I have never been in a situation that took as much concentration as working though contractions. I have a feeling I never will... but remember, I don't say "I never" anymore. :)
FINALLY, around 9:30 I knew I was ready to start pushing. A lot of people think pushing feels great compared to contractions. I have even heard it can be an "orgasmic" experience. Uh, not so much. Not for me anyway! The only push I found felt any better than all the rest happened at 10:40 a.m. Friday when Benjamin came screaming into the world! My big bundle of joy: 9lbs 1 oz, 21.25in, and healthy as could be.

The rush of emotions and relief was the most amazing thing I have ever experienced. I was so emotional I didn't cry... if that makes any sense. Holding Benjamin made me so excited I was shaking (or maybe that was my body just shutting down after all the hard work I had endured.) Pride, strength, crazy love, and satisfaction were among the 1,000 feelings that overcame me. Even though it was hard, I would do it again. And I will do it again when we have another baby. Now that I know I can do it why would I have it happen any other way!?

Moms, or soon-to-be-moms, you can go med-free if it's what you want. With a little preparation and dedication you can do it! And if it is something you want, you will be so satisfied when you're done. I promise. Of course this is all just based on my experience. :) If anyone has questions about natural, medication-free delivery I would be happy to answer questions or give more information.